To All The Bandannas I’ve Love Before

Suffice it to say Julio Iglesias‘ and Willie Nelson’s version of To All The Girls I’ve Loved Before is one of the worst recordings in all of popular music history. It’s accompanied by one of the worst record jackets of all time:

Have you ever seen anything so pathetic? Julio is trying to look like Willie (see the bandanna) and Willie is trying to look like Julio (see the Don Johnson Miami Vice parachute jacket). Poor decisions all the way around, it would seem.

Imagine my shock when I realized yesterday that To All The Girls was written by Hal David and Albert Hammond!

Hal David, the Shakespeare of pop lyricists, the man who wrote the words for Do You Know The Way To Jose and Walk On By and One Less Bell To Answer also was responsible for:

To all the girls I once caressed
And may I say I’ve held the best
For helping me to grow
I owe a lot I know
To all the girls I’ve loved before

Arggh….

And, Albert Hammond, who always seemed a little cooler than this, is responsible for one of the most saccharine melodies to ever be laid upon “I-ii-V-I in D” in the history of modern man.

OK, so we have bad fashion choices, grating accents, the ultra Cowboy of Cool hanging with the Sultan of Smarm, the plunging fall of a great lyricist and a melody to die of (rather than for).

So, how come I keep listening to the original Albert Hammond version over and over again?

Because, unlike the Iglesias/Nelson version, which has the arrogant stench of a slimey college professor luring a 18-year old coed to his apartment to read poetry (then get drunk and screw), the Hammond version has a beautiful, endearing innocence. He sounds like Terry Jacks, for chrissakes (and we know how sincere he was)!

I know you don’t want to do it, but I’m telling you: click the play button and prove me wrong.

Albert Hammond – To All The Girls I’ve Loved Before