Right Now, Somebody In South Alabama Is Opening Up A Can Of Wup-Ass
Somebody’s Gonna Be Pissed About This One
In celebration of Madonna’s 50th birthday, an artist by the obviously fake name of Rush Vizette has rented a space in London called the Red Gate Gallery to show off some art work he calls, with no hint of self-aggrandizement, “Cow’s Blood, the Bible & Madonna: The New Controversial Pop Art”.
The 16 pieces of mixed media are built around the collage pictured to the left, called “Rebel 1,” which does, in fact, include pages torn from the Bible and the splattered blood of formerly living cows.
Quoting himself in a self-written press release, Vizette impressed himself by saying, “(This exhibit) aims to pay homage to the world’s biggest and most controversial icon in a no holds barred attitude to idealize her edgy and her extreme individual self”. Later he suggested we think of him as “Andy Warhol meets Damien Hirst on a subject as unique and complex as Madonna”.
We’re compelled to wonder how, in fact, this could be “new controversial pop art” when he can be so easily compared to people who did “old pop art”. Based on what we’ve seen, we’re more likely to compare him to the stoner who sat next to us in Math class, drawing on himself with a ball point pen.
Madonna who, at last word, is a Kaballah-studying vegetarian was not available to answer the screaming question: What in the name of leather bustiers do bible pages and cow’s blood have to do with Madonna? Is Rush still hooked on the Say A Prayer phase of the Vogueing One’s career?
Meanwhile, deep in the heart of South Alabama, Ricky Malcolm Smith and his friends down at the Eveleene County Line Texaco were asked what they thought of this development. Smith, who has a tattoo down the side of his neck that resembles Madonna but says “Mom,” was quick to offer his opinion:
“The only Rushes we care about are that Limbaugh fella on the radio and the feeling you get when open up a new can of Skoal. This London fella might better stay away from Eveleene County. We don’t take kindly to this sort of, whaddya call it, artsy-fartsy stuff, ‘specially when people are ripping up the Bible.
“Molly Hatchet’s playing at the County Fair this week,” Smith added as he pulled a wrench out of his pocket and walked toward a rebuilt engine from a ’69 Chevy, “Frank Costello did a mural on the side of his van from that one record and it looks real pretty. Nobody cutting up the good book, either”.
